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Recent Movie Reviews

47 Movie Reviews

I'm pretty tired of stick battles

There is little technically wrong with the movie, and this may be a semi-useless review, but I just think that stick fights are tiresome as a subject and fall into a bunch of fight scene cliches. Also, the lack of anything besides line are just looks lazy. Your animation is fine, I admit that stick animation does let people focus on having good motion and timing. It's just that the art is lacking and you should probably learn to produce backgrounds and characters in an art program and make them look nice.

I will probably sound a bit abusive here, but:

Why do people LIKE music that's just noise? I LIKE loud rock music, I'm open to rap, even death metal if it's like Firelake and a bit melodic, but I really hate so-called singing that's just screaming into my headphones and wish you would find some nice movie soundtrack or cool rock music in which the drummer isn't just banging a soulless, loud no-rhythm beat, and the singer isn't just yelling really loud into his microphone.

There, I've said it, and I will accept the consequences.

GoldenTot responds:

I don't really listen to it all that much, it just made for a decent battle tune. I know I'm not much for seeing so many fights either, but this was a little "test". Stick fights seem to be a great way to test one's animation potential, as well as see how they've improved. I usually do comedies, as you can see on my other animations, this was a little bit of an exception. :)

Please read, animator's perspective

It kinda breaks my hear now when I have to review CG pieces objectively, because ever since I started my animation studies in the fall I have learned how intensely hard it is to model, animate, texture, and light a computer animation. I have also become convinced that technical skill in animating is probably more important in CG than in flash. Well, I'll start with the basics.

The characters are well designed and rigged to move, and we definitely get a sense of weight here. The camera animation is pretty good, but it feels like we don't get a totally neat pullout at the end, at which point the composition of the face-off is critical.

I do commend the painstakingly made set pieces, only wishing that they were more interestingly textured and lit. I do not think that the stylized "Tankmen" look of abandoned buildings was translated flatteringly into CG.

The trouble with CG is that for the same amount of work as in flash you get a shorter film, so to create a "teaser" you need to generate a lot of interest with an extremely truncated piece--at least compared to what NewGrounds users are used to. With regards to character animation, this is also clearly not what to an animator of thelonelyduck's advancement would be a polished work. Altogether, it would take even more excruciating work to prepare CG for newgrounds big-time.

Great, just a few ideas.

I think that webchameleon is being completely unfair, because this is a great flash. I understand that those tired of reading useless and slavish praise [yes, all of you who write 10 reviews and only write something like "liked the dick joke!"] might try to compensate by being abusive, but it's better to be constructive. Since most of the praise doesn't need to be said, I will here focus disproportionately on my criticism. No misconceptions--is a hilarious movie!

Before I start, with some of the things I'll say, you may think I'm some rabid feminist or simply too politically correct. That's not the case. I'm a guy who does enjoy a good, immature laugh pretty often. The only reason I'll make these complaints is that I think certain attitudes in movies like these make things uninteresting and demeaning to certain groups of people when they should try to make fun of everyone equally.

The animation looks great, and while it's not movement intensive I'd say BiffTheTimid is one of the better artists visually. I would say that main characters could use more individualistic features rather than embodying the same image of college-age, masculine physical perfection. I for one don't know any guys (or girls) that good-looking, and it would help people's self-image if there was more realism in art. However, other characters like Lady Gaga's mother and the random scotsman showed promise as more naturalistic. Oh, and get some voice actors. I do hope that the author has not alienated female friends

The fart joke that starts things off is right on, maybe just because I have been in that situation many times. The titular "crotchless chaps" joke is funny too, and I don't know if that would actually even the laying field in terms of "showing the goods", but hypothetically it is an interesting idea to go clubbing with.

I'm not sure I approve of how this treats the female characters, and the animation takes a sort of masculine bravado outlook that is rather immature in objectifying women and being generally braindead and uninteresting from an intelectual point of view. In particular, I didn't see the need to bring Lady Gaga or Queen Latifa into it since it was just a bit more spirited. It's not that making fun of them is wrong, its just that female characters seem to That "I'd poker HER face" quip just hints a bit at a double standard of sexual promiscuity. I just felt like putting that out there.

As for the three main characters, although I'm sure the author means to gently mock the kind of frat boys they are portraying, too little of the laughs seem to be with them rather than at them. I'd give Dim, Dan, and Tom of "The Decline of Videogaming" as what I find more rounded and sympathetic examples of young male protagonists in flash spoofs.

Since these are just a small part of my personal opinions, and don't reflect my admiration for the technical skill and great humor, I will give this a score that is not lame, abusive, or needlessly generous either. But I suggest on the technical side to get a friend or colleague to do the girl voices, or better yet to get different actors for a couple of different characters. It helps the humor when voices are convincing and viewers aren't paying attention to technical details.

Recent Game Reviews

8 Game Reviews

Tight, exhilarating, and excellent

Madness Accelerant is a fitting title, because the game sucks you in and forces you to fight for your life at a breakneck pace. It is no drawback that this game has no pause button, because it is meant to be played in one fast, intense sitting. After you play it maybe twice, you realize how short it is, and it feels a little too easy, but the first ride--before you have a good handle on how to defeat the boss--is incredible. The art of mindchamber plus great level design based on Krinkels' "Madness Consternation" makes it thoroughly great to play. the combined effect of the artwork, pounding music, and gameplay make it feel fast, even frightening, and most certainly intense.

The best aspect of the game--absolute genius--is making it one long bossfight. Few other games have tried this, and it allows you the novel experience of real interactive madness. It is great to relive Consternation with all its plot progression intact, fighting a giant infernal clown through industrial corridors and elevator shafts. It sucks that there is not a good pick-up/drop weapon system, but the weapons which include flame-throwers and shotguns are great. This game is infinitely better than "regent", and I desperately hope the sequel to be better still.

Finally, someone built a better gun app!

Usually, I'm very disinclined to like submissions that are short or incomplete. However, this G 18 simulator is so much better than other gun apps. It is refreshing that you make the gun properly interactive with true-life controls and releases. The full-auto mode is breathtaking. If you don't like programming, you are nonetheless good at simple, smooth actions and cues and did the job good. Again, this is just one gun, but I'd pass you on promise alone. I demand that you make more and better versions of this. You have done well.

Evilbright responds:

Thank you I appreciate your support! I kind of have a fetish for realism in firearms. I just finished 1.1 it's got a few new improvements. Check it out!. I plan on trying to add more weapons in the future.

No longer a useful series.

The quality of VadimGoD's original animation has not improved, and still has to rely heavily on photographs edited through filters. The product is still smooth, but it would not be considered arousing by anyone who had seen anything else. The animation style is bland rather than natural. Too many tweens and not enough active animation are still the norm, and when I saw that the foreplay hasn't gotten any better I immediately stopped playing. Until the graphics and the urgency of the whole series improves with each installation, they are just a dime a dozen and worth less than the sum of their parts. The button system is more convenient than the mouse movement system, but it just puts another layer of separation from the action on. The games have always been campy in their subject matter but now it seems like a liability. When it comes to adult material, a middling plot is not as good as a teriffic plot or no plot at all. Anyway, I no longer care about this series and think that others will realize pickings are better elsewhere.

Recent Audio Reviews

6 Audio Reviews

Why couldn't it have been special?

Although it's pretty decent, I will focus on the negative because I have urgent criticism.

It is proficient, but I am sick of the same mood in these piano ballads that shows a deep lack of imagination. You know what I mean, the kind of music that supposedly evokes a bittersweet tug at the heart strings, the kind of happiness that makes you cry...except that because it is done to death by every artist it looses its meaning. This is manipulative without being powerful, proficient without being creative or daring. It sounds pretty, but it sounds as if the progression of the chords and the mood are locked in to a stereotyped pattern. There are many devices, such as counterpoint, harmony, key changes, scales other than minor and major, and too many things to name which can be used to make music more unique. If you have not mastered tonal music theory and the techniques of composition, you will not be able to express the subtleties of emotion that you feel.

It does not have to be complicated or technical to express emotion, but if you analyze the truly good music it requires skill to compose the notes, chords, and most importantly the deviations from the cookie-cutter format that make it good. Somehow, I think this is not a question of talent but one of skill. Either you do not have skill at music theory or choose not to use it. Go use it or go learn it. I am being blunt because it saddens me when good intentions misdirected cause a loss of potential.

Brilliant, but detrimentally choppy

Your many melodic themes contain feeling and remarkable depth, but I have to dock four points for your lack of transition and unity between your themes and different combinations of instrumentation and even rhythm and tempo. It is EXTREMELY disjointed and choppy, and from one theme to the next it feels like you have switched to a totally different song and feeling. When you switch too many times and don't use in-between themes to smooth the transition, you dilute the emotional staying power of all of them.

Please read this and respond if you think there's something I'm missing. I'd like to know your side of the story.

Bosa responds:

I've made music for 7 years, and sometimes I hate to admit that not everybody agrees with my style. If you don't like the beginning with the progressive acoustic change, then know that I did make an attempt at preparing you for the change in theme. I added a slow cymbal to build up any tension that I could. The other changes were intentional. I didn't add them because of my lack of musical knowledge, I added them because I am completely aware of faulty music and I make sure it sounds right to me before it is released. But, as I said, not everybody agrees with my style of music and changing themes.



Ranges from bold and bombastic to eerie and subtle. Strings and synths practically laser etch the melody into the brain, beat charges forward like a tank. Inspired, vivid, awesome,

OWNAGE: 100%

Recent Art Reviews

4 Art Reviews

I don't like the Mastermind's legs

Femme Fatality looks acceptably stylized to me, but that iteration of The Mastermind seems a little too much. I guess that I'm kind of a stickler for the rules, and I happen to think that your Mastermind style circa MM 4 is right where I like it. I shouldn't tell you not to experiment, though. Actually, the legs are really where I draw the line, and from the waste up I like it well enough. Impeccable in the execution, as always.

Redistribute your shading.

In a dark composition, the lightest point can steal the show. I find that the shading and lighting on her torso is more high-contrast than the rest of the piece, and the contrast draws interest there and away from her head, which blends in to the dark sky. You're kinda inviting people to just stare at her body. The work is based on a pretty cool pose, but I'd move the arms a bit out. They're anatomically and compositionally to far behind her body.

Also, it's kind of boring how she's just against the sky with no frame of reference. This is subjective, but i'd like a building, a skyline, or something as a point of reference in space. You've got a nice gradient going and the hair is pretty cool. Refinement would make this better.

Change those silly feet!

The problem is the feet. There's a reason no large animal that ever lived had just one toe in front and one toe in back. It wouldn't be able to balance from left to right, and the leg abductors would be under constant work as it wobbled about.

Each and every other detail is superb, and I think this is a well-formatted character study. I appreciate that you don't shy away from giving it anatomical functionalism, incluning nipples and genitalia/excretory organs. The lower right one is well textured, and i'd have liked to have seen less smoothness in the upper left.

Nonetheless, you must change those ridiculous feet to be more stable, have some nice toes with strong tendons and knuckles, and two to four toes in front with a claw to the side or back. Otherwise, I would never fear it knowing it would fall and crack it's head before it had a chance to dismember me.

I'm an out-of-practice drawer, passable photo-manipulator, untested writer, and can compose a tune to save my life. I don't know how to animate. I dabble in many things and have yet to get really good at any one. Here's to self-improvement.

28, Male

College Student


Joined on 6/11/08

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