Score: 7

"Please read, animator's perspective"

submission: BOOM BOTS

date: December 5, 2009

It kinda breaks my hear now when I have to review CG pieces objectively, because ever since I started my animation studies in the fall I have learned how intensely hard it is to model, animate, texture, and light a computer animation. I have also become convinced that technical skill in animating is probably more important in CG than in flash. Well, I'll start with the basics.

The characters are well designed and rigged to move, and we definitely get a sense of weight here. The camera animation is pretty good, but it feels like we don't get a totally neat pullout at the end, at which point the composition of the face-off is critical.

I do commend the painstakingly made set pieces, only wishing that they were more interestingly textured and lit. I do not think that the stylized "Tankmen" look of abandoned buildings was translated flatteringly into CG.

The trouble with CG is that for the same amount of work as in flash you get a shorter film, so to create a "teaser" you need to generate a lot of interest with an extremely truncated piece--at least compared to what NewGrounds users are used to. With regards to character animation, this is also clearly not what to an animator of thelonelyduck's advancement would be a polished work. Altogether, it would take even more excruciating work to prepare CG for newgrounds big-time.

Score: 9

"Tight, exhilarating, and excellent"

submission: Madness Accelerant

date: September 28, 2009

Madness Accelerant is a fitting title, because the game sucks you in and forces you to fight for your life at a breakneck pace. It is no drawback that this game has no pause button, because it is meant to be played in one fast, intense sitting. After you play it maybe twice, you realize how short it is, and it feels a little too easy, but the first ride--before you have a good handle on how to defeat the boss--is incredible. The art of mindchamber plus great level design based on Krinkels' "Madness Consternation" makes it thoroughly great to play. the combined effect of the artwork, pounding music, and gameplay make it feel fast, even frightening, and most certainly intense.

The best aspect of the game--absolute genius--is making it one long bossfight. Few other games have tried this, and it allows you the novel experience of real interactive madness. It is great to relive Consternation with all its plot progression intact, fighting a giant infernal clown through industrial corridors and elevator shafts. It sucks that there is not a good pick-up/drop weapon system, but the weapons which include flame-throwers and shotguns are great. This game is infinitely better than "regent", and I desperately hope the sequel to be better still.

Score: 6

"Finally, someone built a better gun app!"

submission: Virtual Handgun 1.1

date: August 10, 2009

Usually, I'm very disinclined to like submissions that are short or incomplete. However, this G 18 simulator is so much better than other gun apps. It is refreshing that you make the gun properly interactive with true-life controls and releases. The full-auto mode is breathtaking. If you don't like programming, you are nonetheless good at simple, smooth actions and cues and did the job good. Again, this is just one gun, but I'd pass you on promise alone. I demand that you make more and better versions of this. You have done well.

Score: 8

"Great, just a few ideas."

submission: Crotchless Chaps

date: August 10, 2009

I think that webchameleon is being completely unfair, because this is a great flash. I understand that those tired of reading useless and slavish praise [yes, all of you who write 10 reviews and only write something like "liked the dick joke!"] might try to compensate by being abusive, but it's better to be constructive. Since most of the praise doesn't need to be said, I will here focus disproportionately on my criticism. No misconceptions--is a hilarious movie!

Before I start, with some of the things I'll say, you may think I'm some rabid feminist or simply too politically correct. That's not the case. I'm a guy who does enjoy a good, immature laugh pretty often. The only reason I'll make these complaints is that I think certain attitudes in movies like these make things uninteresting and demeaning to certain groups of people when they should try to make fun of everyone equally.

The animation looks great, and while it's not movement intensive I'd say BiffTheTimid is one of the better artists visually. I would say that main characters could use more individualistic features rather than embodying the same image of college-age, masculine physical perfection. I for one don't know any guys (or girls) that good-looking, and it would help people's self-image if there was more realism in art. However, other characters like Lady Gaga's mother and the random scotsman showed promise as more naturalistic. Oh, and get some voice actors. I do hope that the author has not alienated female friends

The fart joke that starts things off is right on, maybe just because I have been in that situation many times. The titular "crotchless chaps" joke is funny too, and I don't know if that would actually even the laying field in terms of "showing the goods", but hypothetically it is an interesting idea to go clubbing with.

I'm not sure I approve of how this treats the female characters, and the animation takes a sort of masculine bravado outlook that is rather immature in objectifying women and being generally braindead and uninteresting from an intelectual point of view. In particular, I didn't see the need to bring Lady Gaga or Queen Latifa into it since it was just a bit more spirited. It's not that making fun of them is wrong, its just that female characters seem to That "I'd poker HER face" quip just hints a bit at a double standard of sexual promiscuity. I just felt like putting that out there.

As for the three main characters, although I'm sure the author means to gently mock the kind of frat boys they are portraying, too little of the laughs seem to be with them rather than at them. I'd give Dim, Dan, and Tom of "The Decline of Videogaming" as what I find more rounded and sympathetic examples of young male protagonists in flash spoofs.

Since these are just a small part of my personal opinions, and don't reflect my admiration for the technical skill and great humor, I will give this a score that is not lame, abusive, or needlessly generous either. But I suggest on the technical side to get a friend or colleague to do the girl voices, or better yet to get different actors for a couple of different characters. It helps the humor when voices are convincing and viewers aren't paying attention to technical details.

Score: 6

"Failed to advertise"

submission: Watch out Felipe Massa

date: August 2, 2009

You completely failed to advertise that this game requires a webcam, so it's basically your fault you're getting all these complaints. Nowhere did you say in the Author comments or the t8itle that that is what's required. Now since I don't have a webcam on my Dell, I will have no idea how to rate this game, but I'll just put out there that you should have warned me before I voted zero under an incorrect assumption.

Score: 8

"much to appreciate, more to be desired."

submission: Bunnykill 4

date: July 31, 2009

It's better animated than the Madness series in many ways, but unlike Krinkels work it lacks alternate camera angles and so the awe wears off. It does become boring after a while. The female character seems a tad token and stereotypical, but the again all the characters are archetypes. Altogether it makes few camera movments, is predictable, and drags on, this is very finely done otherwise. Also, kudos to spazzyg64 for excellent command of the latin tounge in her abusive review.

Score: 9

"very nice."

submission: The Transformer

date: July 23, 2009

I loved the animation, especially the fish-eye effect, which for me was pretty visually impressive. The unfolding part was extremely well executed. It's a nice, gentle parody of early silent film, a little "what if?" Title cards were nicely done, music was highly atmospheric, and this one was certainly not as "talky" as Facebook Twitter. Johnny has some great animation skill, and since this is a silent feature it has kind of forced him to put it to full use. Funny and fantastically animated.

Score: 4

"No longer a useful series."

submission: Meet'N'Fuck Denise Milani

date: July 2, 2009

The quality of VadimGoD's original animation has not improved, and still has to rely heavily on photographs edited through filters. The product is still smooth, but it would not be considered arousing by anyone who had seen anything else. The animation style is bland rather than natural. Too many tweens and not enough active animation are still the norm, and when I saw that the foreplay hasn't gotten any better I immediately stopped playing. Until the graphics and the urgency of the whole series improves with each installation, they are just a dime a dozen and worth less than the sum of their parts. The button system is more convenient than the mouse movement system, but it just puts another layer of separation from the action on. The games have always been campy in their subject matter but now it seems like a liability. When it comes to adult material, a middling plot is not as good as a teriffic plot or no plot at all. Anyway, I no longer care about this series and think that others will realize pickings are better elsewhere.

Score: 3

"Mister Clinton, this must stop."

submission: homemade Mountain Dew ad

date: June 28, 2009

This is called a flash portal for a reason. Your little ad is cute and all, if very short, but it simply wasn't very captivating. The most important thing is that you must do is learn to use flash vector and stop submitting these videos that you simply convert to flash format. It seems to work for most other people. I am sure there are many other sites designed specifically for homemade video, but we currently have no such portal. I really don't approve of your strategy and suggest you change it. Maybe anything goes here, but I will have my say.

Score: 2

"Doesn't do Michael justice"

submission: RIP Michael Jackson

date: June 26, 2009

If the author really loved Michael Jackson, I think they would have been able to make a decent animation or at the very least a slideshow or medley of footage interspersed with a few title cards. I have a personal set of voting principles that prevents me from voting according to the idea or sentiment of an animation rather than its actual content and skill with flash. Michael Jackson deserves to be remembered and at least respected upon his death, and this is not a tribute that deserves a high rating.

I don't know much about Michael Jackson, but from what I do know he was extremely talented, fascinating, and taken to strange behavior that often overshadowed his very real genius. I don't think it's easy to say whether or not he was guilty of any wrongdoing in the 1993 accusations, although even if he did nothing illegal he invited suspicion with his naive thinking that people would not frown upon unseemly closeness with young boys. It was a messy case involving ulterior motives on the part of the boy's father, a possibly sedative-induced accusation, a humiliating strip search, and conflicting accounts of the truth. Regardless of his extravagant spending of money, behavioral eccentricity and many failings, he contributed immeasurably to popular music and with Lionel Richie started the Charity Records project, which helped starving people in Ethiopia.

But about the flash, it does little to communicate the scope of his vision and the turmoil of his life, and even the audio is not the author's own (not normally expected, but which would have helped for such a dirt simple submission in my sight). My own personal belief is that no author should ask for a vote of five and possible eligibility for a weekly award if their work is not a work of art with flash animation. This is a very simple work of craft that anyone at all could have easily made. I may have unrealistic expectations of Newgrounds as a place for art or at least craft in flash, and concede that not all art is necessarily complicated or difficult to make, However, I am dissapointed and unconvinced this is the best that can or should be done to honor a scandalous and brilliant life.